Many people spend their lives in the same circle of family and friends. But if you’re going to stretch outside your comfort zone and try new things, you’re going to meet new people. You’ll want to surround yourself with new people that share your goals and interests.
You’re Not an Outsider
When you first go to a new place or try a new thing, it’s easy to think that everyone there knows each other. For example, you’re trying to lose weight and you join a gym in your area. It would be easy to come into the first fitness class and assume the other participants have always been friends and there’s no room for you.
You may even think the group is a clique and feel like you’re on the outside. For some people, this can trigger feelings that you’re back in high school, trying to impress the popular kids. While these feelings are normal, they’re not necessarily accurate.
The truth is cool people who are trying new things are always interested in other people that are doing the same thing. Just like you, the other participants in your fitness class are stretching outside of their comfort zone, too.
Often, other people are as curious about you as you are about them. From her perspective, another participant thinks that you look like a cool person doing something new. She feels nervous about saying “hi” or starting up a conversation, too.
Get Outside Your Head
The biggest mistake you can make when trying something new is to spend the whole time in your head. Focus on reaching out to other people around you. Compliment someone else’s shoes or ask where they found that dress.
Don’t do this with an agenda. Simply show interest in those around you and ask questions. You can ask where someone works, how they got started in their chosen profession or hobby, what their plans are for the future.
Avoid asking too many questions right in a row. It can make other people feel like they’re being quizzed. Instead, ask a question and pause for a response. Sometimes, the person you’re talking to will ask you the same or a different question in return. Sometimes, the conversation will take a different direction after your question but don’t fret. Just go with it.
Focus on Relationship
If you’re at a professional function, it can be easy to make your conversations all about your business. But people won’t care about your business until they feel you care about them.
So focus on making friends. Maybe invite the other person to share a meal with you or go out to coffee together. Be open to being socially connected before you are professionally connected in some way.
As you get involved in new activities and pursue new goals, don’t try to go solo. Get to know other people around you. Take an interest in their lives and look for potential friendships that you can nurture. You never know where these new relationships will lead.