One of the keys to healing yourself emotionally is to recognize behavior patterns of other people and the situations that take you back to a vulnerable time and cause you to relive your pain from the past all over again.
The more aware you become of things that trigger anxious feelings or cause you anguish, discomfort or some other type of negative response… the better you will become at knowing which people and situations to avoid in the first place.
For example, if a woman who was verbally abused by her partner encounters an imposing male who speaks and moves in the same aggressive and domineering manner as her abuser, she may become triggered and feel a surge of anxiety (fight or flight) that makes her want to escape the situation.
Another benefit of being able to recognize when you’re triggered is that the awareness becomes a form of damage control. You can head off a possible confrontation or dramatic scene once you realize that you are not actually in any sort of danger – this is just your overactive nervous system responding to a familiar, traumatic series of events.
To experience what it’s like to feel triggered may not be ideal. However, the emotional reaction can serve as an effective means of avoiding dangerous people and situations in the future. The key, of course, is to recognize and become aware of what’s happening – the negative actions of another person that are setting you off, and your reaction – so that you will be reminded of how important it is for you to remove yourself from this type of threat.
You will never be able to avoid all emotional triggers. However, in identifying and becoming cognizant of them when they happen, you will be able to remove yourself from the situation to prevent yourself from becoming adversely affected.
Another advantage to becoming aware of the people, situations, actions, and gestures that cause you to flash back to painful, vulnerable moments of your past is that when they do happen, you will be able to snap back into reality by way of coping skills – such as mindful breathing — to help you through the difficult moments.
This post is part of the Emotional Healing series. Printable version available soon.